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A Farewell Party In Some Kind Of Honor!

  • Jan. 22nd, 2004 at 4:43 PM
In too deep, Brood
I meant to post this earlier, but for an incident(?), it would have been so. :) Well, here it is....

Tuesday:

I went to work half asleep and unenthusiastic, Bracing my mind for the special day as it was, the day I was to leave the organization. I trotted in stealthily, but was caught at the steps with my Company ID card half way to the smart security detector device on the wall, by the Xerox girl. (read!)

I get stormed by a slurry of regrets and what not and am accompanied to my floor in the elevator rather embarrassed and unable to respond. Begging for mercy and stealing my privacy back, I gently settle down at my desk and check the intra-company mailbox to see what was listed as my activities for the day. Not very surprised to see a single mail asking me to "Meet with the boss, ASAP!", I pack my stuff into a cardboard box, taking my own sweet time in doing so and when I'm satisfied that I've left nothing, I shuffle over to the bosses cabin.

An over done display of cordialities and welcome greets me to the only available seat (Where's the other two chairs that are usually there? I'll come to that later....) opposite my bosses table. My boss sits there scrutinizing my drawn out face from just over the rim of his eye glasses for a couple of minutes and then finally takes them off to clean them with a Kleanx towelette. Not surprisingly, he does'nt replace his glasses over his nose, but begins a story. I was half expecting one to materialize as he's always full of stories that pertain to every situation imaginable and he never hesitates to bring them into public view.

The following is a reconstruction of the story in my own words, spoken through his mind and must not be interpreted as a direct assemblage of his erratic story telling abilities:

"We both know that today is your last day at work and though I know you, I do not know you well. I know you well enough, though, to know that you will not change your mind regarding your decision. No, Don't say anything, just listen to what I have to say for a bit.

About twenty five odd years ago, when I was about your age, maybe a bit older, I had just got myself a job and was actually doing very well at it, much as you have been at this place. I worked hard and was determined to show people what I was made of. I worked with that company for eight years before I quit.

Unlike you, I made the mistake of judging myself by the impression I left in other peoples minds. Often, I misinterpreted their opinions and rarely was I close to the truth. I found I was fooling my self into believing that I was a good worker. Infact, I was fooling myself into believing that I was doing very well and this was what my heart wanted. Money!

You have told me time and again that you're not happy with the work that you do. I have never once asked you why you were unhappy because it was clearly imprinted on your face. I noticed it during almost every submission that you came to me with. I know that you don't like your work, not because we pay little (which by Indian standards, we don't!) Not because your work was'nt up to mark, but because your heart was'nt in it.

In your eyes, I see myself when I was twenty eight. I never tried telling you to give us the pass-over since you did'nt like the job, because of company needs and partly because I saw a beam of light from my past reflected in your heart. I'm not sure you'll understand what I just said, But it means a lot to me.

If you had quit earlier, and with ample notice, I guess it would have left the company better prepared to a.) find ourselves a replacement and b.) not regret the loss of the best content writer we had on our force. Partly, I am to blame, and partly our companies ideals. I know that telling you all this is not going to fix anything, It's just so you know how much you mean to us.

As a writer, you are brilliant. As a content writer, you surpass anybody we have. But as a content Writer writing about stuff that does'nt interest him, doing a job he absolutely hates, you did your job like an absolute genius.

We'll perhaps never see the likes of anyone to match up to your skills and I'm not sure we can really replace you with any justice, but know this, that we have hearts too, and we understand, honor and respect your stand.

In the end, all I'd like to say is that you are always welcome through those doors. And as a display of our understanding, your access card shall remain in circulation, you are a part of a family here and are free to come and go as you please.... I have been asked to convey our sincerest regards, by the board of directors and my superiors.

I tried speaking to them directly regarding the justice in letting you go, but they refuted all my attempts to convince them. In the end though, I held my stand and they understand that it is your wish to leave us, but only physically I might add. (Big smile!) As a person, you are still as much a part of us as you were, if not more.

You see, I made a mistake as a young man, and I almost made you make the same mistake. They say it's better late than never, and I'm happy you'll now be doing something you really want to do. You have my best wishes for a wonderful future and the company wishes you the best for your career."

Now, he stands up, drawing himself to his full height. (I've never seen him so tall. He's usually moping around the place with a slouch that makes his arms hang low, so low infact, his fingers scrape the bottom o his knees when he walks.) With a wave of his hand, his bellowing voice booms over the cubicles and through the entire floor. "What are we waiting for? Let's make merry!"

Stunned as I am by this sudden end to his monologue, I hear cheers go up all around the floor, the even hum of millions of tiny feet on carpeted floors shuttling about.... As I am pulled unwillingly to my feet by my bosses huge saucer shaped paws, I see through the door the smiles and shadows frisking about excitedly.

If there was one thing I did'nt expect, it was this, a Farewell Party! I froze just in time to lock my knees from turning into rubber and had to titer against the table to avoid hitting the ground with a squishy splat. A cake, a bottle of champagne, an array of tinsel dispensers, a mob of animals and a sudden dawning of an impact to my mind!

I hardly knew anyone there though they all obviously knew me, knew who I was, and knew even that I was leaving, perhaps for good. I've been in company farewells before, about sixteen of them in my own tenure, but this by far was the most extravagant one I'd ever seen. The same grouchy people were eager to rub shoulders with yours truly, people I'd never even seen in my life before were coming up to me and congratulating me on my past and regretting my leaving. I know when a person is not being genuine, and these people really meant it.

A couple of my senior colleagues (whom, I might add, I hardly ever interacted with, but who had the job of going over my work and maintaining a constant vigil of my activities) actually had glazed eyes and that far off smile on their faces.... For all I know, they could all be celebrating the demise of the single most painful entity on the planet. (That's how I consoled myself later, of my guilt in leaving, by the way.)

Two hours later, a very shaken individual walked out of the floor, clutching his belongings close and in reminiscence, receiving farewell regards and pats on either shoulder. I reached the lift and pressed the button for the parking level. Dumping my stuff in the back seat, I sat down in the drivers seat, fidgeting with the keys absentmindedly.

If I've learned anything from this, I shall not know what it is immediately, but in time, I might grow to understand. For now though, I know that leaving a company is more than just aquital, it's more than that. That farewell is one I'm not soon going to forget.

If any of my colleagues are reading this, I would appreciate a bland reading of this post, it's uncannily unsuportive and has little to offer in any real sense, but it's all I could dream of, thank you guys, I'll remember this.

Kaydeeyoh!

Comments

atharvan wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2004 08:45 am (UTC)
cake...yummy!

Ah..this was a very moving account of your last day there...
So, you see, there is hope for those who dare to strive and fight for what they truly believe in. And you impressed the truth of this belief upon your own boss. Even he couldn't do anything other than acknowledging that this move is absolutely essential to your idea of self-fulfilment.
We do sometimes believe that we live in a tiny bubble and that no one actually really cares about us; but the reality is that we are gregarious: we do not live in a vacuum but rather remain surrounded by other people and are submitted to the social gaze. (whether this social gaze affects us or not and in what ways is another different matter).
Departures, I've often felt, are more significant than arrivals. The thing is, with arrivals, you can work your way with people, interact with them and maintain ties. Arrivals, like departures, signal the beginning and development of a new life but departures are more poignant because you leave behind ties that have been constructed, nourished and maintained, often during numerous years. Whether it is your family you're leaving behind; or friends; or just work colleagues, it is often not an easy task. We punctuate our lives not only with our own perceptions of things but also with our interactions with others.
As I said, it is not an easy task, but certainly not impossible; to cope with the unknown and the new is simultaneously one of humankind's greatest dreams and worst fears. Perhaps, you have to have it this way.
Anyway, sudden amnesia has come upon me and I forget the point of this reply..
will be tuning in for more later.
Cheers!

angiasaa wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2004 10:11 am (UTC)
Re: cake...yummy!
True, I did show them! But I still feel kinda guilty for having thrown my hands up and given in so suddenly....

You say departures are often more significant than arivals. You're absolutely right. When you arrive, you have the ability to mould people. But when you depart, you are to them as you were when you departed, forever embeded like that in their minds.... You can't change a thing till next you meet....

It was easy till they threw that party in my face.... Until then, I was as serene as anything could be.... That party really turned my stomach insideout....

Expecting more later, ;)
Kaydeeyoh!
atharvan wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2004 10:38 am (UTC)
Re: cake...yummy!
I wonder...did you feel uncomfortable because, on that last day, they revealed facets of themselves that you had never discovered during all that time working beside them?
It makes one wonder how much one knows about others and what kind of facades we wear all day in our dealings with others.
angiasaa wrote:
Jan. 24th, 2004 06:47 am (UTC)
Re: cake...yummy!
Actually, I feel uncomfortable with any kind of attention or focus on the self. Ofcourse, seeing a new side of them, did move me, but what really made the Earth quake was the fact that they certainly did'nt have that party to make me feel good or anything, they did it sincerely and they really did'nt seem to want me to go....

I'm not very much the 'buckling under pressure' kinda guy, and I pulled through.... But it's after the fact that my emotions begin surging....

Back out of the burning house, I felt guilty for having thrown my hands up in the air and dropped off the cherry tree.

The facade I usually display is that of unconcerned co-ordination.... I prefer to get my work over and done with (with the least amount of interaction involved as is possible) without the nagging pains of having to socialize....

I worry not cause I see new faces of those involved, but because I can't figure out what it was that got them so enthu....

Kaydeeyoh!
atharvan wrote:
Jan. 24th, 2004 07:58 am (UTC)
Re: cake...yummy!
They saw you as a genuine person and as part of their world. It doesn't matter really how much you socialised or even how much you knew and interacted with those who worked with you. To them, I think, you belonged...
angiasaa wrote:
Jan. 24th, 2004 10:47 am (UTC)
Re: cake...yummy!
:) Belonged.... Such a beautiful word....

Yet, somehow, I did'nt belong with them....

That was refreshing, Thankyou!
Kaydeeyoh!
datempest wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2004 12:47 pm (UTC)
That comment the boss said about you being the best content writer and stuff is so true! The best part of it is, that it makes me so proud of you.

I dont think I used to wait eagerly every saturday, monday and wednesday for the appointment times, to check if there was a piece by Abhimanyu Acharya, and then reading it eagerly just to make sure the piece was by the junior Mr Acharya and not the senior Mr Acharya, all that for no reason! *beams with pride*

Yes, I shall miss all those beautiful articles, but then again it is best to move on. Change is inevitable and good for health. Remember whatever you do, keep your head held up high, and do it with a full heart. Just be happy, and watch the world smile with you!

With regards to your farewell party, I WANT SOME CHAMPANGE TOO!!!!

Hmm, the only farewell party I had in my honor was my 16th surprise birthday party, given to me by my school friends. Even those who were against me because I was a member of the lower class of society attended and made it so memorable! It made my stomach crunch then also, and I guess it always will. Farewell parties do that to people, because its like that part of your life which you spent with those people, all comes and stares at you in the face. If you havent been too good, then there it stands laughing at you( im high on medicine here so dont mind all the nonsense)

hmm, all in all, whatever makes you happy, go for it and do it with your whole heart. Hold your head high, and you will turn out a winner!





angiasaa wrote:
Jan. 24th, 2004 10:31 am (UTC)
Champagne
That comment the boss said about you being the best content writer and stuff is so true!

Well, He could have just been trying to make me think well of the organization and make me believe that they're great employers who understand the worth of their writers. lol!

I dont think I used to wait eagerly every saturday, monday and wednesday for the appointment times, to check if there was a piece by Abhimanyu Acharya, and then reading it eagerly just to make sure the piece was by the junior Mr Acharya and not the senior Mr Acharya, all that for no reason! *beams with pride*

I'm connected to you Nikita, people value what they, personally, hold close to them. :) Still, my gratitude, you made a smile, and I'm actually giggling. :) Thanks for the compliment. :">

Yes, I shall miss all those beautiful articles, but then again it is best to move on. ...blah blah.... Just be happy, and watch the world smile with you!

I agree.... Everything you said there beams with confidence. I'm not too bright on my outlook, but when I see things as they shine, I think I reflect a little something. :)

With regards to your farewell party, I WANT SOME CHAMPANGE TOO!!!!

Hmmmm.... Well, There's a bottle in the fridge, but it's not the same thing as what they had at the party.... This is my own private maal (That's 'stash' for my foreigner friends.) Tee hee!

If you havent been too good, then there it stands laughing at you( im high on medicine here so dont mind all the nonsense)

Yes, a valid point there.... But mine is not really about being upset about something I did.... It's about wondering why people are behaving the way that they are.... Almost too kind, only, it seems just too genuine to be a hoax by so many people....

hmm, all in all, whatever makes you happy, go for it and do it with your whole heart. Hold your head high, and you will turn out a winner!

Okai, I'll take that advice,

/me: Holds his head high!
Kaydeeyoh!
rvijapurapu wrote:
Jan. 24th, 2004 05:33 am (UTC)
Looking at myself
I guess, there are always few things in our lives when we feel that we are upto something but nothing seems to happening.

I am in a similar situation, I am in a company which I love, a company which is giving a lot of opportunity to live through my ideas and passions. But, I am seriously not sure about how things will go on. I feel as if I am tied up and not getting what I really want.

Till now, I haven't figured out what *I really want*. I guess this is one thing which has been keeping me going around the bush. Have been trying out everything from being a *technologist*, a *businessman*, a *researcher* and what ever I can lay my hands on. I have found a good flair of myself in everything I do, anything I do I feel that I am doing good. Moreover people do appreciate my vision and knack in everything I am doing.

So now comes the time when I am asking myself the question, what exactly should I do? So I should say, I am still searching for my real soul.

I guess at this moment of time, you have found something which you love the most. I guess you should get going and know what to do next. The path to freedom is in *yourself* doing the best you can to keep *yourself* satisfied.

Ram.
angiasaa wrote:
Jan. 24th, 2004 01:28 pm (UTC)
Re: Looking at myself
I guess, there are always few things in our lives when we feel that we are upto something but nothing seems to happening.

Very aptly noted my friend.... I've often fund myself rolling down a hill faster than when I had been climbing it. At times, I'm walking or running with all my afterburners blazing and I realize that I'm not moving at all, the ground I tred upon is what's slipping backward.

But, I am seriously not sure about how things will go on. I feel as if I am tied up and not getting what I really want.

Raghu, like you, even I'm not at all sure about how things are gonna turn out. I have no clue. All I am aware of is that I left a perfectly good company just cause I'd had enough for working on something I don't even like, let alone love! I'm not gonna get what I want anytime soon (except by some stroke of incredible luck or something) and when I do, It's not gonna be fate nor anytime soon.

Till now, I haven't figured out what *I really want*. I guess this is one thing which has been keeping me going around the bush. Have been trying out everything from being a *technologist*, a *businessman*, a *researcher* and what ever I can lay my hands on. I have found a good flair of myself in everything I do, anything I do I feel that I am doing good. Moreover people do appreciate my vision and knack in everything I am doing.

Strange, but even I find myself stuck with the exact same problem.Unfortunately, both of us are gifted in a way. We are able to excel in particular fields, and do mighty well at virtually evrything. But we're never satisfied with what we have, We can't find that one specific notch that makes us happy and relaxed. And so, we go on and on, doing one thing after another, doing them well, but with a mind that's ironically unimpressed most of the time.... Other people, people who watch us or notice us, tend to see a faint glow of ability around you, but you know in your heart that this is not what you wanted.... That's where I am now, and thet's where most of us are. It's just that Very few of our numbers have actually managed to realize that there's a difference between objective and projective reality and love....

So now comes the time when I am asking myself the question, what exactly should I do? So I should say, I am still searching for my real soul.

Yes, if you are still searching for it, there's no hesitation in saying so. But if you're not, and you've found that love, you'r there and there's no saying no. :) If you're asking the question, I expect your answer will not take a moment in comming, it's already there.... :)

I guess at this moment of time, you have found something which you love the most. I guess you should get going and know what to do next.

I have'nt found something I want to do.Instead, I've figured out what I "know" I don't wanna do. I'll get going, but I'm not sure wether I'll be making my way in the right direction or the wrong one.... All I'll know is if I love it or not.... Chances are I won't, but, I'll still have enough momentum to carry me on to my next objective.... Liek a nomad, like a bee collecting honey, like a mudskipper out of water, like a spider searching for it's mate.... Ummm.... Okai, not that, but well, you get the idea naa.... :P

The path to freedom is in *yourself* doing the best you can to keep *yourself* satisfied.

I'll take note of that.... You should read my other posts also. especially this one.... You'll see that I realized just as you said, that the path is in myself.... It's just that I have'nt figured out how to keep satisfied....

Kaydeeyoh!

P.S.: I'll comment on your post tommorrow....
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Jan. 24th, 2004 07:46 am (UTC)
angiasaa wrote:
Jan. 24th, 2004 01:56 pm (UTC)
good? :P It did'nt feel that way at the time....

Ummm.... Howcome the sudden shift in momentum? :(
What kinda smack was that? lol! See, I'm begining to doubt your intentions. :)

_chicanery_ is a word.

lol!

Okai. It's basically what I do.... What I've done all my life.... I take simple things and then make them look complicated. The projected image is called chicanery. For instance, everything I say is chicanery! Hahaha!

Perplexities galore! Hahahaha! (Hohoho!?)
Kaydeeyoh!
atharvan wrote:
Jan. 27th, 2004 11:35 am (UTC)
Nothing to do with the above posts but I wanted to know:
Is there a problem with your website? I never seem to be able to get it to load...
Unless you mean that blank page as an artistic statement :P
just joking...
take care &
Cheers!
angiasaa wrote:
Jan. 28th, 2004 04:21 am (UTC)
yes, there's a big problem with my website....

My registration has expired and I have to re-register the domain name.... Events are currently not favourable.... Every time I try using my credit card, they keep overcharging.... and even though they're charging me, the domain name is not being registered. So I keep trying to register and getting the charges reversed over and over....

I'll have to make a trip specially to their office I guess, but I'm kinda pressed into timeslots that don't suit me just yet....

I'll ahve the website up soon though, and that's a promise. :)

Kaydeeyoh!