Angirasa Acharya (aka Jim....) (angiasaa) wrote,
Angirasa Acharya (aka Jim....)

Your Mom's A Sex Worker?

I was in a meeting yesterday, and as I am wont to do, I'd drunk more than my fair share of liquids. It's Hyderabad and the weather last evening was simply lovely! However, the over-weight and unfortunate Hyderabaddies who look like tight fits even in the widest chairs in the meeting room were over-heating. The air conditioner was straining to meet a scant 24 degree average temperature.

Being thin-skinned and unfortunate as I am on my blubber reserves, I soon began suffering from acute heat loss. A few minutes into the meeting, my bladder began to cry foul and I excused myself to make the (by now desperate) journey to the loo to relieve myself.

The journey was not all that bad, and everything went as planned. I'm always amazed by how the infra red detector for auto-flush works so seamlessly. :) That's something I'll investigate in detail later sometime. But for now, I suppose it's good enough that you're all convinced of how uneventful (compared to normalcy) the whole process was.

Getting back to the point of this post, I finally decided that I'd spent way too much time away from the meeting and ought to be crawling back. So I crawled back.

As I pushed the pneumatic assisted door open and walked into the room, the first words that reached me were "They're dirty clients, I think we ought to drop them from the agenda altogether". I had caught a conversation mid-way, but my tongue was caught in another world altogether. I burst out laughing! I laughed, and I laughed, and I laughed some more. :) Everyone froze and stared at me like I'd gone quite insane. By the time I had managed to bring my glee into control, I was half sure they'd made up their minds that I was just about ready to get fired.

They asked me what the joke was all about, but had to sadly refuse to share it with them. You guys are a bit luckier though, so I'll dish out some of the joy I was rolling myself around in.

A long time ago, when I was in Delhi, still studying and playing out the role I'd chosen to play in my life at that point in time, I once walked into my classroom after having taken a break from the cacophony of unsheathed tongues. Conversations were peppered around the classroom and people, it seemed, were interacting in full swing.

As I approached a clump of people, I heard half a snippet of conversation:

She: "....Oh, You can't believe it, she was attacked by one of her clients!"
Me: "Wow! She a sex worker?"
She: "Damn you, she's my mom!"
Me: ".... Err!" *O_o*
She *
Stalks out of the classroom in a hefty huff*
The whole group of people (those who did'nt quietly walk away) stood on as silent spectators, too stunned to invoke muscular contraction.*
Me *
A moment of hesitation, and I rush after the girl frantically trying at the same time to decide which way was up and which was down, and somehow manage to catch up with her looking over one of the few (open) balconies of the building.*
She: "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Me: "Don't push me over the railing, I did'nt mean to imply anything.. It's just that I heard you say those words and somehow, the word 'Client' stood out and conveyed that meaning.. I had no idea who you were talking about.. What does your mom do for a living?"
She *
Turns around and watches the sun setting over the horizon*
Me: "I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but sooner or later, you'll have to tell someone.."
She *
Smiles as the last speck of sun vanishes over the smoggy Delhi sky-line*
Me: "....hmm?"
She: "My mom's a psychotherapist!"

We walked back to the class in fits of laughter.
I thought it was one of my most intimate encounters with the opposite sex at the time. I later found out that she had a boyfriend who stood one and a half times higher than me, was twice as broad as he was tall, and drove a 12 year old, faded dark-blue Maruti 800. :)

I never dated her. And looking back at my life, I suppose it was for the best anyway. :)

I don't think the heavy weights out here at work ought to hear any of this though, they'd see the pervert that I am and probably turn out to be axe murderers who're rediscovering their true identities. :) Too much at stake here. A private joke is of private worth. :) Somehow, I don't think you guys will find this episode as funny as I did either, but I can risk it with you. ;)

Tags: amusing, childhood, embarassment, female, friends, funny, growing up, me, past

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