Angirasa Acharya (aka Jim....) (angiasaa) wrote,
Angirasa Acharya (aka Jim....)
angiasaa

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You call them fat? They're my friends!

If even one person finds this of any help, I'd be a very happy man! Please revert to me with your experience and perhaps, even your suggestions for improvements.

Disclaimer

This technique has'nt been suggested or used before, and it is purely home-made. However, (as wacky as the concept might appear to be), it has it's basis in sound medical concept and scientific observations. Consult your doctor or family physician before you try this if you like, though they're bound to believe it'll not help you. The fact remains that Indian doctors, as well as numerous doctors worldwide too, are bound by their inability to see things as a whole and act creatively upon their knowledge. I'm no doctor but I have studied the facts and consequences of the advice given below. There are many other ways to achieve the same results, most of them easier than this. But they have'nt been tested on humans or animals (lol, could'nt help saying that! Neither those nor these have been tested before).

As a whole, there should not be any complications from the below suggested procedure. However, should you have an allergy or something to Soya bean (So far, there've been no reported cases of Soya-related allergies.) or another suggested item, DON'T use this programme.

If you're scared, talk to your Doctor! Don't come crawling to me with your lawyer, if your doctor mucks up or if you die of hives! If you're worried about ANYTHING untoward happening, consult your doctor! Also, don't keep him in the dark. Tell him what you're doing and have fun!
There are a large number of people today who are not pleased with their bodies. Some, like me, are miserably thin, while most others, feel that they are beyond distinction. It's usually a dietary problem, but not always! It could be a hormonal imbalance, a broken heart, a dietary inconsistency, a problem of a psychological nature, and numerous other reasons.

One of the most common causes for _technically_ obese people is none of the above. Infact, it's a viral infection. Yeah, yeah, I can see you shaking your heads in pity at my seeming incompetence. But heck! Read on....

The Adino Virus-36 (Ad-36 if you're planning on buying the strain over-the-counter at a virii bank near you.) It was originally found to cause obesity in chickens, but was only traced to human obesity a couple or so years ago. I happened to read an interesting article based on this virus at the time. Unfortunately, my memory retains the name of the virus and the circumstances affiliated to its discovery, but I can't, for the life of me, remember the location of the research paper(s).

It was found that a little over 70% of obese people from a sample (I don't remember the sample size) taken from London showed traces of the virus. This virus acts in a very strange manner. The virus infects the person, and the symptoms are invisible. No one can positively tell, when you are infected. However, once you've been infected, your immune system goes all out and eradicates the virus from your system. The funny thing: It's not the virus that makes you put on fat uncontrollably. It's your immune system! The fat-gain is a side effect of the immune system fighting the virus. Sadly, this fat-gain (as far as my memory goes) is permanent and it's almost impossible to lose that fat. Even a sadomasochistic dietary regimen would be of little help. That's what the research seemed to prove anyway.

By the way, it can be fairly accurately found out whether you have ever had the Adino Virus-36 in your lifetime or not. Even though the system is free of the virus, blood tests can determine (by the detection of specific antibodies) whether you've ever had the viral infection before in your life.


This post is not to talk to you all about the Adino Virus-36. Not everyone suffers from the aftereffects of the immune system hijack. There are some people who suffer (needlessly) from a much milder problem, but which can be equally frustrating and obliquely, even depressing to those affected. The cause is a slow and selective metabolic rate.

I have done loads of research on this and here's my suggestion for those of you who wish to give it a try. Frankly, if Adino Virus-36 turns up negative, and you've tried everything else, give this suggestion of mine a try before throwing your hands up in the air and giving up!

What you gotta do:
Meet up with a dietitian or a doctor and figure out what foods tend to metabolize quickly in your body. You'd most likely be better off if you checked on a doc first, and then, take the details over to the dietitian. The other way round promises to give you lots of aspirin-craving headaches!

Why?
If you eat stuff that your body takes time over, you must cut down on it. We all tend to absorb different foods at different rates. Some of us have no physical problem as such, but instead, just keep eating the wrong kind of food.

Eat Meat:
Meat is compact energy, and it's a much better substitute to go for 200 grams of meat than to eat 800 grams of that green leafy stuff since you will (your body will anyway!) need less metabolic confusion there. Human beings are omnivorous for a reason!
We were'nt meant to eat only plants or only animals. A balanced diet is kewl and all, but when it comes to substituting one for another, we're playing with our genetic makeup.

However, if you're a vegan, I guess eating meat would only serve to cause throwing-up of anything you eat. (bad idea that!)

If Vegan's can't eat meat?
There is a better option and that is to aim for a better substitute for meat than say, celery or lettuce. Eat Soybean-related stuff.... You have Soy cakes, Tofu, Nutri-nuggets, etc.... Also keep in mind that there are other better substitutes around, assuming that you are unable to get your hands on some fancy soy that is! (Mind you, you might take a while getting used to the taste 'n stuff. Make sure that you eat some of the metabolically authorized other-green foods too.)

Finally:
Hmmm.... I guess that's one heck of a mind-job, but it will definitely get you on your way to a slimmer (within controllable limits), sexier you!

Whatever happens, DO NOT (!!) give up!! That's about the last thing that you should have on your agenda. I'm serious!! No kidding ya!!
No one was born looking good, they just happened to eat some of the right things.

Besides, remember always, giving up with your mind is equivalent to giving up with your body and heart too.... Don't let that pull you down. If the mind gives up hope, you give up on everything!

Kaydeeyoh!

P.S.: Thank you goes to vandyvandanavandy who inspired me to write this post. She'd asked me before, But I never got around to putting it all down into black and white. Thank you vandyvandanavandy for the joy of sharing! - kdo! Jim....
Tags: advice, food
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  • 42 comments

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