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Jul. 9th, 2003

  • 12:39 AM
Over Stand
Slept like a baby today, awoke all sweaty and clammy....

The cable net guys came to wire me a cable. I think I should be logging in through the cable tomorrow evening. :)

For the rest of me and my thoughts, I've been wondering of late about a little confusion in my head....


To think of ones self as not 'perfect'? I'm a perfectionist! Yeah, that's what I am! :O) And before you people begin to stretch your arms out and writhe seductively against the wall, Let me begin my explanation. :-D

For starters, I'm a perfectionist for I so dearly wish to do everything that I do perfectly, without a flaw, beautiful, pretty, sweet and awesome, not to mention a load of other good things thrown in as well. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as perfect. Cause what I see as perfect might quite likely be your idea of a nightmare in blue shorts if you know what I mean....

To expand on this a bit so the innocent see what I'm driving at, I have this idea in my head, and I try to formulate it into what we refer to as 'reality'. What I end up creating is rarely ever near what I had in my head in the first place. It's like I just can't make my creations as good or as awesome as I had intended to.

I begin with a rough sketch of a thought in my head, and I start adding little wisps of thought to it, soon, there's this huge idea brimming over and I just have to turn it into something real. So, I start working on the idea, with my goal at the horizon, but no matter how fast or how far I run, I'll never reach that goal of mine. The reason is quite simple really, I keep building on my thoughts....

The horizon just keeps it's distance, staying waaay ahead of my progress and I'll never be able to reach it for all that I'm worth! Often, when I'm in my creation mode, people lean over and whisper softly that it looks awesome. I feel they're trying to be appreciative of my efforts, but with a mind like mine, that just no can do! I work on and on, and people just look and stare, trying to tell me they never imagined it could get any better.... Again, I keep to my self inflicted task, but no matter how far I go, My baby still has flaws.... I fix them and new ones come up. And soon comes a time when I just 'have' to let go and lay off for fear of spoiling what little I made....

It's like a sculptor with a problem, he gets to work on this cube of stone, chipping it into shape. soon, a figure stands out and it looks gorgeous.... But the sculptor sees flaws in his work and decides to fix them, he keeps chipping here and there, trying to perfect his work. This goes on for what seems like ages and soon he realizes that his statue is a mere one tenth it's original size due to all the chipping! That's when he realizes he's not getting any place and he gives up feeling like he just can't do it, he's just not good enough! life's like that huh?

Pity we're still alive, alive like this!
Kaydeeyoh!

Comments

(Anonymous) wrote:
Jul. 9th, 2003 07:07 am (UTC)
Every creation has flaws. Nothing can ever be perfect.
But that shoudn't stop us from trying to make it better.

The whole point is that at least you created.
Most of us can't do that.

So, keep going!
:-)

Cheers!
Divya
datempest wrote:
Jul. 9th, 2003 01:42 pm (UTC)
yeah i agree wid divya most of us dont know how to create... but just a thought just how many of us know da meaning of creativity??? I feel every idea that we produce in da matrix of our mind is creativity... no matter good or bad... every idea leads to innovation.... which is creativity itself...

yess we do try to perfect things but then again we cant all be God....
which also reminds me dats wot we name perfection-God

Nix

angiasaa wrote:
Jul. 13th, 2003 03:55 pm (UTC)
To perfection
Hi Divs,

Yes, every creation has it's flaws, and most things can't be perfect. But is there a reason to stop trying? I mean really? Yes there is I believe one. There's beauty in imperfection. :o)

____snip-divs____
> The whole point is that at least you created.
> Most of us can't do that.
____/snip-divs____

Yes, at least I created, but nope, most of us can, infact, all of us do. we just don't appreciate it, we don't see it, we ignore it. that's our mistake.

Nikita, Few, very few among us know the meaning of creativity, fewer still value it.... I am glad that those who are close to me mostly, value me as a creative individual, as an individual, as a part of them selves.... That's what makes me a better person.... Or does it?

Yes, God is what we call perfection, or in good old style, Godlike! ;o)

Kaydeeyoh!
(Anonymous) wrote:
Jul. 12th, 2003 06:35 pm (UTC)
Hi
A hi to you. got this from CG. i am a member too. (althougha bit more on the reading than the writing side)

Interesting post.

-Abhi (http://www.duelcom.com/malani)
angiasaa wrote:
Jul. 13th, 2003 04:00 pm (UTC)
Hello Abhi,

Great to have you here, I could always do with a few more comments out here, Drop in whenever you feel the will, and you have full permission to view the journal as long as you amke up by dropping in your comments when you feel like doing so. :o)

Thanx for dropping by, and thanks for the comment as well. :o)

Kaydeeyoh!
subtle_blues wrote:
Aug. 16th, 2005 04:57 am (UTC)
perfectionist?? :P naa...
they call it OCD darling.. :o)

I told u.. U are basically flawed!:)
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 23rd, 2005 06:22 pm (UTC)
Oh well, I ain't like this on purpose.... It's a basic flaw, and no one seems to wanna help me undo it.... (If it's possible at all!)
subtle_blues wrote:
Aug. 23rd, 2005 06:25 pm (UTC)
DO _you_ think it's possible to undo it??
;)
and I amalso wondering did _you_ ever ask for help??
:)

p.s. Can't come online! :(
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 23rd, 2005 07:09 pm (UTC)
It might be, I really dunno.... Somethings are made possible.

and I amalso wondering did _you_ ever ask for help??

Do you ask for love?

P.S.: I noticed.... :) Why not though?
subtle_blues wrote:
Aug. 23rd, 2005 11:39 pm (UTC)
lol!
Yes! I _did_ ask for love.. :)

I always get it at all the unexpected places though..

hmm.. I was using one of the computers in my coll library. they don't allow u to log in to messengers!;)
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 03:42 pm (UTC)
Love is something people 'just do'!, You can ask for it, but would you? Someone could'nt give it to you unless they truly felt it. You can ask all you want, but there's nothing special left in it then.

You could try the Java Messenger thingy, it just might do the trick. :)
subtle_blues wrote:
Aug. 26th, 2005 08:36 pm (UTC)
Sounds like a cliched Hindi movie dialogue. "pyar kiya nahin jata .. hojata hai!"
:)
but with a lil kink. People _do_ love?? I thought people _make_ love!
:))
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 26th, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
Making love does'nt have to be love.... :o)

use java messenger for Yahoo....
subtle_blues wrote:
Aug. 26th, 2005 09:05 pm (UTC)
hmm..
funny sentences we have when we refer to love
fall in love
do love
make love
:)

what makes you think i even know what java messenger is?? u level headed prick! :PP
anyway.. I can't use anything now.. even if I figure out what it is.. cause I am using some else's Personal Desktop at a hospital!
:)
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 26th, 2005 09:08 pm (UTC)
You forgot one.... 'love' :o)



Go to http://messenger.yahoo.com/

At the bottome of the page, you'll see a link saying: "Launch Web Messenger"

click that link and java Messenger will load up on your screen.
subtle_blues wrote:
Aug. 26th, 2005 09:24 pm (UTC)
I was gonna put that too..
but decided it shoudln't go in the same plane as the rest of them!
:)
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 28th, 2005 08:54 pm (UTC)
Hehe! It was the one I meant.... :)