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You call them fat? They're my friends!

  • Aug. 24th, 2005 at 2:44 AM
Over Stand
If even one person finds this of any help, I'd be a very happy man! Please revert to me with your experience and perhaps, even your suggestions for improvements.

Disclaimer

This technique has'nt been suggested or used before, and it is purely home-made. However, (as wacky as the concept might appear to be), it has it's basis in sound medical concept and scientific observations. Consult your doctor or family physician before you try this if you like, though they're bound to believe it'll not help you. The fact remains that Indian doctors, as well as numerous doctors worldwide too, are bound by their inability to see things as a whole and act creatively upon their knowledge. I'm no doctor but I have studied the facts and consequences of the advice given below. There are many other ways to achieve the same results, most of them easier than this. But they have'nt been tested on humans or animals (lol, could'nt help saying that! Neither those nor these have been tested before).

As a whole, there should not be any complications from the below suggested procedure. However, should you have an allergy or something to Soya bean (So far, there've been no reported cases of Soya-related allergies.) or another suggested item, DON'T use this programme.

If you're scared, talk to your Doctor! Don't come crawling to me with your lawyer, if your doctor mucks up or if you die of hives! If you're worried about ANYTHING untoward happening, consult your doctor! Also, don't keep him in the dark. Tell him what you're doing and have fun!
There are a large number of people today who are not pleased with their bodies. Some, like me, are miserably thin, while most others, feel that they are beyond distinction. It's usually a dietary problem, but not always! It could be a hormonal imbalance, a broken heart, a dietary inconsistency, a problem of a psychological nature, and numerous other reasons.

One of the most common causes for _technically_ obese people is none of the above. Infact, it's a viral infection. Yeah, yeah, I can see you shaking your heads in pity at my seeming incompetence. But heck! Read on....

The Adino Virus-36 (Ad-36 if you're planning on buying the strain over-the-counter at a virii bank near you.) It was originally found to cause obesity in chickens, but was only traced to human obesity a couple or so years ago. I happened to read an interesting article based on this virus at the time. Unfortunately, my memory retains the name of the virus and the circumstances affiliated to its discovery, but I can't, for the life of me, remember the location of the research paper(s).

It was found that a little over 70% of obese people from a sample (I don't remember the sample size) taken from London showed traces of the virus. This virus acts in a very strange manner. The virus infects the person, and the symptoms are invisible. No one can positively tell, when you are infected. However, once you've been infected, your immune system goes all out and eradicates the virus from your system. The funny thing: It's not the virus that makes you put on fat uncontrollably. It's your immune system! The fat-gain is a side effect of the immune system fighting the virus. Sadly, this fat-gain (as far as my memory goes) is permanent and it's almost impossible to lose that fat. Even a sadomasochistic dietary regimen would be of little help. That's what the research seemed to prove anyway.

By the way, it can be fairly accurately found out whether you have ever had the Adino Virus-36 in your lifetime or not. Even though the system is free of the virus, blood tests can determine (by the detection of specific antibodies) whether you've ever had the viral infection before in your life.


This post is not to talk to you all about the Adino Virus-36. Not everyone suffers from the aftereffects of the immune system hijack. There are some people who suffer (needlessly) from a much milder problem, but which can be equally frustrating and obliquely, even depressing to those affected. The cause is a slow and selective metabolic rate.

I have done loads of research on this and here's my suggestion for those of you who wish to give it a try. Frankly, if Adino Virus-36 turns up negative, and you've tried everything else, give this suggestion of mine a try before throwing your hands up in the air and giving up!

What you gotta do:
Meet up with a dietitian or a doctor and figure out what foods tend to metabolize quickly in your body. You'd most likely be better off if you checked on a doc first, and then, take the details over to the dietitian. The other way round promises to give you lots of aspirin-craving headaches!

Why?
If you eat stuff that your body takes time over, you must cut down on it. We all tend to absorb different foods at different rates. Some of us have no physical problem as such, but instead, just keep eating the wrong kind of food.

Eat Meat:
Meat is compact energy, and it's a much better substitute to go for 200 grams of meat than to eat 800 grams of that green leafy stuff since you will (your body will anyway!) need less metabolic confusion there. Human beings are omnivorous for a reason!
We were'nt meant to eat only plants or only animals. A balanced diet is kewl and all, but when it comes to substituting one for another, we're playing with our genetic makeup.

However, if you're a vegan, I guess eating meat would only serve to cause throwing-up of anything you eat. (bad idea that!)

If Vegan's can't eat meat?
There is a better option and that is to aim for a better substitute for meat than say, celery or lettuce. Eat Soybean-related stuff.... You have Soy cakes, Tofu, Nutri-nuggets, etc.... Also keep in mind that there are other better substitutes around, assuming that you are unable to get your hands on some fancy soy that is! (Mind you, you might take a while getting used to the taste 'n stuff. Make sure that you eat some of the metabolically authorized other-green foods too.)

Finally:
Hmmm.... I guess that's one heck of a mind-job, but it will definitely get you on your way to a slimmer (within controllable limits), sexier you!

Whatever happens, DO NOT (!!) give up!! That's about the last thing that you should have on your agenda. I'm serious!! No kidding ya!!
No one was born looking good, they just happened to eat some of the right things.

Besides, remember always, giving up with your mind is equivalent to giving up with your body and heart too.... Don't let that pull you down. If the mind gives up hope, you give up on everything!

Kaydeeyoh!

P.S.: Thank you goes to vandyvandanavandy who inspired me to write this post. She'd asked me before, But I never got around to putting it all down into black and white. Thank you vandyvandanavandy for the joy of sharing! - kdo! Jim....

Tags:

Comments

(no subject) - crabbycool - Aug. 24th, 2005 12:04 pm (UTC)
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 02:43 pm (UTC)
'Killer Nutritionist' would have sounded way more loving. :) But I'll say thanks, another day made! :o)
ex_ga_woo wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 01:33 pm (UTC)
"There are a large number of people today who are not pleased with their bodies."

Not me. I'm a hottie.
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 02:46 pm (UTC)
You constitute a pathetically miserable chunk of the generality on this planet, part of which happen to be 'a large number of people'. :o)

You're among the rest of the population....

rotflmao!
ex_ga_woo wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 04:44 pm (UTC)
"rotflmao!"

That's a great way to lose weight. Laughing till your ass is detached, I mean.
Another way to lose weight is removing one kidney. I've heard that we don't need really need both of them and can make do with one.
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 05:38 pm (UTC)
Ah! Now that you mention it, you could remove both kidneys, just plug yourself into a dialysis machine thrice a week, and enjoy weightlessness.

You could also remove around three-fourths of your liver and allow it to grow back. Then, get another three-fourths removed and keep the cycle going. Temporary weight loss, that!

You could also staple your stomach. You'll eat less, and consequently, weigh less.

While you're doing that, you could shorten your small and large intestines. They use up a helluva lot of space and weight!

Now that your body has been weight reduced, you don't need to be breathing in so much air. Shear off bits of each lung, and see how the ounces are delivered!

Hmmm....

I still feel it's better trying to lose weight without surgery than to go about playing havoc with your organs.

I don't intend on scaring people away, I'm just trying to educate them about their options.

This post is a sincere attempt to give people something that I myself, cannot benefit from directly.

Hmmm.... That's all in my case anyway....
ex_ga_woo wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 08:12 am (UTC)
Thank you :P
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 03:19 pm (UTC)
A pleasure, it was....
ex_ga_woo wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 03:27 pm (UTC)
Nice to know something good came off (of?) it.
vandyvandana wrote:
Aug. 28th, 2005 09:06 am (UTC)
ROTFLMAO
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 28th, 2005 08:44 pm (UTC)
:o))
kalyancreddy wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 02:06 pm (UTC)
Haven't heard of this till date, seems like you put-in a lot of work behind this so it must be helpful.
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 02:50 pm (UTC)
Yep, sure put my heart into the research work. I'm not even slightly qualified (academically) to propose this diet-thingy thing, but figured that there might be a lot more people out there who might find this useful (even if used as a last resort!) in their lives, or their friends lives.

The research covered roughly three years of data gathering and sifting, with bits and pieces making sense from time to time, and falling into place.... I figured there was no point being selfish and keeping the recipe with myself. I'm miserably thin, What use could I have of it anyway.... :)

Kaydeeyoh!
iamliberated wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 03:03 am (UTC)
What drives you to do these things,I mean the 'Research' that is totally impertinent and useless to you. Just a question and nothing more.
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 02:12 pm (UTC)
Curiosity.... (Yep, the same thing that kills all those cats every year!)

I'm interested by almost anything and everything. Be it something as seemingly tangible as the human body, something metaphysically inclined, something sublimely intimidating as psychology, or anything else that happens to be exposed to my mind for even the slightest instant, it all pulls on my mind like a subject that craves to be learned about, analyzed, researched and explored.

I love learning things.... Not like reading a book and writing an examination, but more like learning something because it has some inherent interest-value. No matter how small or big the subject might be, no matter how simple or complex.... The chances that I'd fall head over heels, down the rabbit hole (so to speak), thirsting for more, are so great, it's impossible to explain.

I've been diagnosed with a hyperactive mind. My brain is nothing exceptional, it's rather below normal (or so the shrinks say), but the mind is stuck on high-gear. I'm a true insomniac because of this, and though it takes a physical toll on me, everything that I learn in those sleepless hours keeps me driving on and on....

It's like a vicious cycle, The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know.... And the more I realize I don't know, the more I try to learn some more.... It goes on unendingly.

In fact, it's much like looking for a word in the dictionary. You find the word you're looking for, and while searching for a synonym or an antonym or similar word, you keep moving back and forth through the dictionary, picking up ten words where you wanted just one. :)

In my case, you can take that a step further, While I'm searching for a referenced word, I'll stop every so often, take a word that my eye happened to catch in skimming over the page, and I follow up on that word too....

That's a rough way to put it, but that's pretty much what drives me to do this seemingly useless (to my self) research. :) Curiosity!

Kaydeeyoh!
(no subject) - fugney - Aug. 24th, 2005 03:47 pm (UTC)
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 04:13 pm (UTC)
Or, try liposuction. Not only is it much faster, it's a lot of other things.
(no subject) - fugney - Aug. 25th, 2005 02:30 pm (UTC)
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 03:08 pm (UTC)
Nor did Pamela.... :)

Still, you have a very valid point there.... Price makes a huge difference to our decisions (a post on that later sometime). :)

It's always better to exercise rather than fall back on a scalpel. :)
subtle_blues wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 06:29 pm (UTC)
hmmm..
good stuff...but... I think I'll just stick to _my_ diet regime... healthy or not.. :o)

hey did u know that HIV also belongs to the family of adenoviruses?? (Even if u know that fact just pretend u heard it for the first time! :P)
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 06:33 pm (UTC)
To each, his own.... :o) Besides, you're not obese enough to try my diet with any level of feigned sincerity. :o)


hey did u know that HIV also belongs to the family of adenoviruses?? (Even if u know that fact just pretend u heard it for the first time! :P)

:-o Shocking! Hehehehehehehe!
subtle_blues wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 06:53 pm (UTC)
Hey..
I said "pretend!"
Not "ridicule"
:-\
humph..
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2005 06:59 pm (UTC)
I said "pretend!"

lol! *pretends*

:">
gavarilo wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 08:57 am (UTC)
can you do a research about puttin on weight too..eh...? i know if you do a research there are high chances that you might not follow it...but it might be helpful for some others...
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 02:25 pm (UTC)
I'm a miserably thin guy too! :) Check out this pic, I'm the one on the extreme right.... That's how thin I am! :)

I have done quite a bit of research on being thin. But somehow, I'm rarely very successful at doing things that I instruct my mind to do. I've tried focusing, but that's totally pointless, I generally end up doing something totally different!

When I say that it took three (or so) years worth of research, I don't mean I concentrated only on researching obesity. :) It was basically that I got interested in it three years ago. From time to time, a random article or ad-banner provoked my senses and I would go for a wild research spree on the net.

Small facts, tiny bits of understanding all begin to collect somewhere in the back of my brain. It all keeps gathering, collecting itself into a tiny database, and waits there for a time when I am faced with a situation or circumstance.

Then, when that event or situation is at hand, suddenly my data begins to make sense. Quite like watching a huge puzzle make itself up, all the pieces begin to make sense and they fall into place. Viola! We have touch-down! :o)

I don't consciously work on doing research, it's all just one of those 'I'm interested in this' phase. If it makes sense to me one fine day, I'm happy. If it does'nt, I just keep no collecting data.... It's wierd, and as you'll see in this comment, I really can't explain how it's done. It just works somehow.... Call it a random brain-wave or something. :)

Still, you have a good question, I'm interested too, but really can't say when I'll have a result (if any at all!).. :)

Kaydeeyoh!

P.S.: I'm interested.... If I am able to figure anything out, it will definitely be on my journal. :)
gavarilo wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 05:05 pm (UTC)
I don't consciously work on doing research, it's all just one of those 'I'm interested in this' phase.

would it help if i lie that iam a pretty girl...will you do it for me...and plz dont give me a motivation speech to do it ;)
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 25th, 2005 08:01 pm (UTC)
Hehe! Nope.... The fun of discovery would be lost then.... :)

Most girls could'nt make me do anything.... Pretty, or otherwise, I'm a mighty stubborn freak....

As for the motivation speech, Hmmm! lol!
vandyvandana wrote:
Aug. 28th, 2005 09:09 am (UTC)
ah...this made an interesting read.
thanx for this post. i'm falling in love with tofu and soya milk.
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 28th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
:) Thank you!

It was you who provided the required impetus for bringing this post to the surface in the first place.... Thank you once again.

As for is being an interesting read, you can blame that on Insomnia. ;o)

BTW, are you seriously following this programme or something? If you are, I would like to keep tabs on the progress....
vandyvandana wrote:
Aug. 29th, 2005 02:06 pm (UTC)
following exactly this regime...not really.
but soyabean and its kinds has become an imp part of my diet..

a health update coming up soon.
angiasaa wrote:
Aug. 29th, 2005 03:51 pm (UTC)
Ah.... Well, either way, I'm keen on seeing how it's working for you....

a health update coming up soon.

*waits, drumming fingers impatiently!*

:o)
sticky_toffee wrote:
Sep. 4th, 2005 01:21 am (UTC)
caring and trying to help people as always. :)
heh
angiasaa wrote:
Sep. 4th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
caring and trying to help people as always. :)

You make it sound like I'm a nice guy or something. :o)


:) I don't do it on purpose. :)
I do it because I'm selfish! Very, verrry selfish....

The thing is, I get a lot of pleasure when I happify (Have I just coined a new word?) someone. Sometimes, I think I am happier than that person! I guess it's what all of us do, we just don't realize it. :o)
(Anonymous) wrote:
Sep. 8th, 2005 01:39 pm (UTC)
sorry to barge into your space..i came across ur journal while blog browsing ..if there exists a term like that..anyway in your user info u have written to quote u exactly
"I love Computers, Geek maal, Life _as_ a Question, Girls (provided they keep to a reasonable and comfortable distance)"

sounds like some women u meet are ready to pounce on you or cramp ur style by getting two close for comfort verbally as well as physically.and here i thought only men were capable of that..ahh well i guess womens liberation found a new meaning ;-)

gayathri
angiasaa wrote:
Sep. 8th, 2005 06:48 pm (UTC)
No problem at all Gayathri. This journal, though private in nature, is open to the general public.... Anyone who happens to wade in is more than welcome to have a look around and post a comment or more. :)

Besides all that, I love online visitors.... It's like a breath of fresh air, being added to the plethora of people and ideas that drop by out here.

As for the point in question, it's a strange situation....

There are no ladies ready to pounce on me, I'm not one of those hunks and nor am I one of those evil scheming maniacs, so the girls are'nt exactly doing the rain-dance around me. :)

However, you've got the problem by the toenails there, a few feet, in my vision, is physically too close for comfort. I feel nervous, I run out of conversation, my hands get all clammy, my heart-rate goes up a bit, my eyes dash everywhere but in her direction, blah-blah, the list goes on.

Verbally, I'm never intimidated by a member of the opposite sex. it's physical proximity that worries me. This should'nt be taken to mean that I don't like females, I find them irresistibly attractive in most cases. And no, I don't think my guy friends are physically appealing or something. :o) So you can be sure I'm anything but gay.

However, I've lived a strangely odd life. Have been through various years of my life in situations that have been predominantly without the physical presence of the feminine kind. Consequently, when I came out into the real world, from an all-boys residential school, I was faced with a world where guys and girls were not just able to talk to each other without inhibition, but were on their fourth or fifth steady relationship.

I felt left out, and I drew further away from the crowd. I've always been a few steps behind the other guys around me, and I guess it's something I'll spend years of re-training my mind, before I can be as comfortable in situations where female proximity is a reality.

I'm mentally advanced in some ways, but at the same time, I'm grotesquely stunted in others.... Ladies happen to be one of my stunts. :) (Apologies for the play no the language, I'm an avid stick in the mud) :o)

Kaydeeyoh!

P.S.: You've left no means of contacting you. I don't even know who you are. I presume you don't know or have'nt heard of me in the real world.... right? - kdo, Jim....
(Anonymous) wrote:
Sep. 9th, 2005 01:00 am (UTC)
waw..i like it.in depth analysis of the whole situation with histroy as evidnce to support the case.:-)
believe me i know hunks who suffer from same peoblem.just because someone looks good doesnt mean they can handle the opposite sex...i dunno what it is..maybe u need an inborn talent for that ;-)))..yes there is where the evil scheming maniacs score points .nope i do not know u or havent heard of you...
well i blog too..or atleast attempt to
this is my site

http://cytherea.rediffblogs.com/
keep up the good work on ur journal
gayathri

angiasaa wrote:
Sep. 9th, 2005 10:32 am (UTC)
My life's full of a purple past. :) I've hated it, I've loved it, I've lived every moment of it and what pleases me the most, is the fact that it's all mine. :o)

It's not that I can't handle the opposite sex, it's just that I'm not exactly 'comfortable' in their presence. I don't fear them like I'd fear something like pointless death. But I feel left-out in a sense. Like my mind goes blank when they're around. Yep, it is scary in a way. But I'm working on it. And I'm sure I'm making headway into the world of women, I'm just a bit slow on the uptake. :o)

Online, I'm at ease with the ladies. It's just the real world that pokes holes in it all....

Will check out your blog shortly.... :) I'm a livejournal guy to the core.... But I'll make an exception here. :)

Thanks for visiting, you've made my day!
Kaydeeyoh!
(Anonymous) wrote:
Sep. 9th, 2005 11:04 am (UTC)
hey anytime pal..i find ur writing interesting....and my god livejournal has some real strong followers now dont they ..good good.:-).i guess its also easier for you people coz u get to each others blogs much faster .
gayathri
angiasaa wrote:
Sep. 9th, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC)
i find ur writing interesting....

*blushes!* You flatter me.... :o)

Livejournal is in my best books due to its awesome 'commenting system' and 'member linkages'. Otherwise, it's much like any other blogging site. :o)

And the best thing is that I get an e-mail notification every time someone replies to one of my comments anywhere in LJ. :-)
vijucat wrote:
Sep. 26th, 2005 12:49 pm (UTC)
wow, that's news to me.
dude, if you're right, then you're going to give VLCC etc; a run for their money.
If you're right, you're sitting on a FAT pile (pun unintended) of cash, mama.
angiasaa wrote:
Sep. 26th, 2005 06:49 pm (UTC)
:o) It took a helluva lot of work to get this far. I'm confident that it will work wonders on people. But I don't have enough test-subjects.

I would have tried it on myself, but I'm not overweight so I won't know if it's working for sure. :o)

vandyvandana is working on it, but I still need her feedback. She's not following the entire procedure according to the rules, so again, we have a problem there. I'm hoping more people will try it out. It's mighty safe and (in my opinion) well researched, I think all I really need is some good publicity. :o)

I know this thing will work. I just need proof. lol! I need some best wishes and some luck. :o)

Kaydeeyoh!
vijucat wrote:
Sep. 27th, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
I need some best wishes and some luck. :0

No you don't. Remember your photoshop skills? Just come up with a 'Before' photo of you and then your 'After' self is the proof that it works!! How does SaapKaTel Ltd. sound, brutha?!!! :)))
angiasaa wrote:
Sep. 28th, 2005 06:30 pm (UTC)
Hehe! Now that's a nice idea. :)

BTW, I've tasted python oil.... It does miracles to Chineese tea!!

As to SaapKaTel Ltd., I think you've got a killer (pun intended) of an idea there. :)
(Anonymous) wrote:
Jul. 20th, 2010 01:17 pm (UTC)
its a new open window!!
i was always afraid of eating red meat...i do eat chicken sometimes. i find mutton keema very tasty but i think its bad for me.

soya is healthy but in males it causes impotency....did you know that.

i'd be glad if you can make a diet which has more details and choices. eg. breakfast ...eggs, lunch....

you have a fantastic sense of humour and i feel you have a great talent in writing.

i feel sad that im a female ...don't know if you'd ever like to meet me.

i'm hopin for the best though!

love,
ria.
angiasaa wrote:
Jul. 22nd, 2010 11:21 am (UTC)
Re: its a new open window!!
Red meat is actually more potent in terms of nutritive value than chicken. Nothing is bad for you unless your body rejects it. So don't go by any preconceived notions about what's good and what's not. :)

Soya does not cause impotency. However, some curing methods for soya products have been known to correlate with low sperm counts.

I can't sit down and create a diet for a general population. for one thing, I'm no professional, and for another, people react to different diets in different ways. What you need is a more customized diet plan.

Kaydeeyoh!